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3.10.2007

CDC Warning

The Center For Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior.

The disease is call Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "Gonna Re-Elect Him". Many contracted it in 2004, after getting Screwed during the four previous years.

Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include, anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced Xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrollable facial smirking, ignorance or geography and history, tendencies toward evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behavior, and pronounciation difficulties.

Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how distructive this disease is, after having originated only a few short years ago from a bush in Texas.

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